As I sit here in my apartment trying to get motivated to accomplish the tasks before me….I’m distracted by something outside. It’s been quiet with my window open to an overcast, still day (wait…same kind of day the last time I wrote…oh, I do live in Germany :D) But then I hear children playing. Boys are yelling and girls are screaming. I can see the scene in my mind….the boys are probably chasing the girls and the girls are running away, yet never to far away because they are caught up in the game. It brings a smile to my face – kids are kids. It’s quiet again…they’ve all gone away. A sweet moment in the middle of the day.
I’m still distracted. My thoughts are somewhere else. Someone close to me shared something very exciting the other day that was happening in their life. They said I could possibly blog about it, they said it can be something new to blog about. I was looking forward to it. It would have been a blog on Hope and anticipation. But this morning the story has changed, as the news has changed. What they thought would happen will not. Without going into another person’s story….I am left with sadness as I sit here feeling the inability to help. Sadness and pain for them….sadness for me and others as well.
I wanted my next post to be one of excitement, of encouragement, and brightness. Yet my heart needs a place to grieve and process – once again. As I continue to process this heart breaking news throughout the day…I question, I cry, and I turn to God for comfort. Not so much for me, but for these ones I love so very much. In the midst of it all, I still believe that God is good, that He is in control, and that He is loving. He is in the midst of their pain, holding them.
Hope…..as I think about it…it’s still part of the story. In the moment of our pain and experiences, it is hard to see anything but what stands in front of us. We ask why? We don’t know how the story will play out. We don’t know how God will make “beauty from ashes”…but we know Him! Our Hope is in him. So we wait. We pray for one another, we sit by each others sides and hold tight. Sometimes we speak and other times we are just present. It’s hard to not be physically close, it’s hard to figure out how to be “present” from a distance.
As I write this…I’m listening to Mumford and Sons….I just noticed the chorus line that is playing over and over:
“But I will hold on I will hold on hope, but I will hold on, I will hold on hope, and I will hold on I will hold on hope, but I will hold on I will hold on hope, I will hold on I will hold on.”
My prayer today for each one of you. Whatever it is, right now, that is heavy in your life. I pray that you are able to hold on to the One that holds you in His hand!